Who will tarry with Him through the night??

Why 3pm? Well I wouldn’t want to stay up all night would I?? Especially since I get up at 11pm. “Why??!” you ask? Well, it’s because it’s my new schedule! I’ve officially joined the NightWatch at IHOP-KC! Woot woot! “What’s the NightWatch?” you ask? It’s a group of dedicated believers who have decided to rearrange their entire lives in order to keep the fire on the alter burning through intercession and worship through the night until the wee hours of the morning. Within the Global Prayer Room (click to watch live 24/7) intercession and worship before the Lord is a ministry that runs 24 hours a day, 7 days and week and the NightWatch covers the hours of 12am until 6am. The typical end of the day for a “NightWatcher” is around 3pm or so. The NW mandate is found in:

Psalm 134:1 “Behold, bless the Lord, all you servants of the Lord, who by night stand in the house of the LORD! Lift up your hands in the sanctuary, and bless the LORD. The LORD who made heaven and earth bless you from Zion!”

Click here for more about the NightWatch at IHOP-KC!

This is a diverse group of intercessors, singers and musicians made up of full- and part-time staff, marketplace workers, interns, and students ranging in all ages, as well as single young adults and even entire families with children! It’s been so awesome being able to start on this journey of undistracted devotion to the Lord and it’s been AWESOME so far. I actually started March 25^th, stayed up that morning and went throughout the entire NW time and then went to sleep at 3pm to start my body on the transition process. That was a total of about 28 hours :-/ The best part of that time was when I was actually in the prayer room and I noticed the sweetness of the Lord’s presence, the intimate atmosphere, and the ability to seek His face without distraction. I wasn’t tired at all from 12-6am but as soon as I left I felt my body crashing lol But there has been such a ridiculous amount of grace that I’m feeling now to the point where I think my body has started adjusting pretty well. (except when I wake up halfway through sleep at 6:30pm to let me know that I’m hungry :-/)

Which brings me to the next change with switching to the NW: feeding times <--(sounds like I’m a pet hamster or something haha) So the way that I eat now is definitely different as well as the times. So usually, you’d have breakfast when you wake up, lunch about 6 hours later and then dinner around 6 hours after that. Well, that’s what I’m doing except for me my breakfast starts at 11pm, lunch is at 6am, and dinner is 12pm, a few hours before I go to bed at 3pm. I know I know, it sounds weird haha! But my body is starting to adjust pretty well to craving certain types of food so that my mind can keep up with which part of the day I’m in. Also, in addition to the time changes, I’ve also starting eating a little healthier, which is definitely needed to keep healthy, vibrant and AWAKE throughout the rest of the day. I’ll pack different things like almonds, raisins, fruits and mozzarella string cheese (Mmm) as snacks so I can eat them throughout the day and I try to take the time to have heartier meals at the set times and keep that kind of schedule. Also on my schedule is exercise! I haven’t intentionally exercised in a while (lol) and now since it’s no longer 20 degrees outside I can finally start running! I’m pretty sure the Lord likes the idea also because I asked Him for some new running shoes (I couldn’t afford to get them on my own) and He gave them to me about 3 weeks later! A pair that would have been a good $70 or so but I got them for free! Aaaaameeeeen! –John 15:7 #Imjustsaying

So, this time on the NW will definitely be a time for gazing and beholding the beauty of Jesus as well as receiving fulfillment of a few choice promises that the Lord has been hinting at and I’m so excited! I’ll also be training hands on in what it means to be a prophetic singer while singing on a team in the GPR, which I’ll talk about in the next post and It’s pretty exciting, Jesus-orchestrated stuff for sure ;-) There really is something different about standing in the place of intercession in the wee hours and getting to commune with Him for hours undistracted. I’ve noticed that in the daytimes in the prayer room I can get so easily distracted by all that I COULD be doing or thinking about who I could be hanging out with then. But I really feel like this is also training for me to keep my gaze on the Lord so that when I get in a place that could easily distract me I’ve trained my spirit to continue to engage & dialogue with Him in the busiest of places. During that time the café isn’t open, there’s no one hanging out outside, and there aren’t any people in the hallways trying to pass the time between classes. There is just an open prayer room and the incense of worship being lifted up to the Father’s throne. “How long will you be on the NightWatch?” you ask? (You have so many good questions haha!) Well, I’m not sure yet but I’ll ask the Lord about it and get back to you. ;-) I start back with classes in August so that’s set, but all I know is that I’m supposed to be here now and we’ll see how it goes!! It’s been SO WORTH IT so far and it’s simply divine. Zzz…(^_^) 

 “The call to the NightWatch is a call to extravagant devotion. It is the Lord’s desire to raise up a people who will love Him in the night. On the night of Jesus’ betrayal, the hour of judgment and salvation, He found no one to stand with Him. But in the final hours of history—the time of escalated judgment and salvation—who will tarry with Him through the night?”

::sigh:: I know, I know :-/ Forgive me!

So, I know that it’s been a while since I’ve posted (a long while actually) and I’m sorry! But I’m back!! There are actually a couple of different reasons as to why I haven’t posted. One of those being the time that I was busy with the production “The Dream of a King” <--(click to watch!) which some of you already knew about, and that’s been pretty time consuming but sooooooo worth it!! By the way, the Lord did SO MUCH within me in the time that I’d been prepping for the role and it’s affected me on so many different levels (which is a whole separate post on it’s own :-p ) Also, the past few months have definitely been testing and faith-building for sure, specifically with whether or not I was going to be able to do my 2^nd semester of school. There was a lot that I had to process and work through during that time and I honestly felt like I didn’t know what to write about! BUT that time of uncertainty has started to pass within the last few weeks or so and I’m starting to see the Lord’s promises coming to pass! I have a lot more insight of what was going on then which helps me to be able to better articulate it here now. He’s been showing me that He has a plan for me and to continue to trust Him even when it looks crazy! The recent months have helped to draw me closer to the Lord and has caused me to trust Him with everything, which is what He wants us to do when we feel like things are all over the place and when we don’t know what’s happening around us! So, yeah. It’s been a pretty interesting time to say the least lol

Since things have started to settle a bit, I have more time to blog AND more clarity to be able to process all that is happening with me now! So within the next couple of posts I’m going to recap some of the highlights from the past month or so to catch you up! Exciting stuff (^_^) 

P.S. So since the blog posted the most recent post at the top, I decided to post all that I had so far, but backwards...? 8-| lol Just to clear that up, I posted my most recent material and then posted this "I'm back" intro last so you get this at the top. Anywho, enjoy haha!

Why does this MAN love me so much??

(That Man being Jesus lol) Alright, to recap on a few things, I came out to Kansas City to go to the International House of Prayer University in the Forerunner Music Academy. And I enrolled in August and completed my first semester and it went amazingly well! Academically I did really well and ended up completing the semester with a few 100%s, a 92%, and an 86% in my classes. And on a heart level, the Lord just blew me up on all kinds of levels. Trusting Him, increasing my capacity to receive from Him, learning how to lean on Him, witnessing all the times He’s come through financially & remembering His promises when things looked crazy. And in the midst of all of that, His promises were all I had to cling to, because things began to soon look CRAZY! As my second semester crept closer and closer I was made more and more aware that I just didn’t have the money to be able to pay for it. I prayed and prayed and asked God for financial breakthrough but hadn’t seen any change. This was also during the last month of preparation for “The Dream of A King” and so it was a pretty intense time. (There's a whole post on that!) But at the same time the Lord would always remind me of His promises and would tell me to just trust Him and remain faithful with what was placed before me. And so I continued seeking His face concerning the play and began to stress less and less about finances for school. It came down to the last day or so before the 2^nd semester’s tuition was due and the closer it got to the final date, the more I began to set my heart to possibly not being in school for the semester and was at peace with that because I knew that if the Lord wanted me to be there then He’d provide the money. And if He had other plans for me for those next few months then I would follow. I was actually feeling pretty joyful and excited for whatever else the Lord had in mind!

The first day of school began and I felt pretty good. I knew then that He definitely had other plans and my heart was still set on those plans. And through many prayers and support from friends and family I was able to pay the amount that I needed to be able to remove the financial hold that was on my account and the slate was clean. I wasn’t able to even register for my 2^nd semester classes until the hold was lifted, and that didn’t happen until school had already began (how strategic of the Lord lol oh don’t worry…it gets better! Haha--->). So my debt had been paid, I felt free as a bird and excited for whatever else it was that He had planned for me. Somewhere along the way, a friend let me know that they had be able to work out a unique situation with financial aid to be able to set a different date to pay, which allowed them to be able to stay in classes and pay after the original deadline (which was not something that usually happened for everyone). So, knowing that I had some support coming in soon from friends I wondered if that would be a way that the Lord was going to get me back into school! So I spoke with financial aid advisors and worked it out so that I could register for classes and have extra time to get the tuition paid. I was in classes for a week and thought sure that the Lord would slap enough money in my lap to be able to do the semester. And so at this point my heart was set back to being in school. I thought “Oh wow Lord! That was crazy but I’m so glad that I was able to get back in! Amen!”. I had a bunch of people praying for me that I’d get the rest of what I needed and it all seemed so sure. All the while, the Lord wanted me to trust Him. And so I continued to pray and send out emails and messages to be able to raise enough before my postponed deadline. And it came all the way to the morning of the last day and I didn’t have enough. A friend of mine had started telling me throughout those last 2 weeks and more steadily in the last few days that He had felt that my focus should be on my rent rather than putting the money towards the semester. And of course I initially thought that was whack (lol) because now I wanted to stay in school, but still wondered why he felt so sure of it. Little did I know, the Lord was wanting me to actually put it towards rent and allow Him to continue with what He already had planned. ::suspense:: .... :-O

So it came to pass that I didn’t have enough to begin the semester. The financial advisors prayed over me and said that they knew I’d be back and that the Lord’s plans for me would be fulfilled. And after withdrawing that morning and handing in my student ID badge, I proceeded to sit in my car and cry. I cried and cried and hated the fact that I had to set my heart back to not being in school. There had been such a flurry of emotions within that week and at that point I just wanted to feel a sense of certainty in the direction that I was going in. I was devastated and didn’t know what to do as I sat in my car and watched the rain fall on my windshield as I watched students walking with their guitars into their worship team labs. I remember being so upset that I was even allowed to be in school for that week. That week brought back my desire to want to be at IHOPU and at that point I wish that I had never even went for that week, and maybe it wouldn’t have hurt so much! I thought about all the emails I had sent out to people, and in each one I was more excited than the previous about how the Lord was opening up another door, but then how I was back in school, and now I had to send out another to let everyone know that I wasn’t in school again. This went on in my mind for a few hours, thoughts of “what now??” and “What am I supposed to tell everyone now?”. I spent a long time away from everyone and talked to the Lord for a while, and later on I ended up being encouraged a lot hanging out with one of my friends and then going to the Encounter God Service that night. In the midst of worship, I began to hear the gentle whisper of the Lord, reminding me of His promises. He completely filled me with joy, peace, and confidence in His promises towards me! That night pretty much marked Romans 15:13 in my heart and I actually began to experience that within my own heart!

“I pray that God, the source of hope will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

It was so crazy how the Lord just swooshed in and removed all doubt, fear, anger, uncertainty, and sadness. I was strangely joyful and calm in the midst of a time where I would have otherwise felt like things were falling apart. He’s so gracious and kind to remind me of what He told me and to reset my heart and my gaze on Him. From that point I was able to finish up prepping for the play with a heart that was full of joy, peace, and understanding that although my plans were changing, His plans were still in motion.

We finished the first performance that Wednesday and it went so amazingly well! The next day, the 16^th, was my birthday and I asked the Lord to surprise me and knew that what ever He planned would be awesome. And so Thursday’s show went even better. All the while showing me His faithfulness in helping me remember lines and helping me to capture what I needed to for my character and speak forth His message. Our 2^nd showing was finished and we all were backstage removing makeup and celebrating another successful performance, talking about all that the Lord was doing backstage and in the audience. I’m receiving “happy birthday’s”, balloons, and cupcakes from cast members when Jaye Thomas (the pastor in the play) walks in and says “We’ve got some big news for you!!!” Standing with cast members and friends, Jaye proceeds to read his email and it’s from Pablo Perez, the director of FMA. He talked about how he loved the play and how the program wants to combine efforts with Heart of David in conveying the Lord’s heart and all of these other awesome things. And towards the end he called me out and said that if I wanted to return to FMA then I’d have a fully paid scholarship to attend for the rest of my time in school…………………………………. 8-|

I don’t know if you caught that, but the Lord gave me a FULLY PAID SCHOLARSHIP TO THE INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER UNIVERSITY to be in the FORERUNNER MUSIC ACADEMY!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! ::jumps & screams in the back of the prayer room but quickly realizes the spirit is being quenched for others and sits back down:: <--LOL! ::breathes:: I don’t know how He did it, but the Lord ended up providing for me after all!! And not just enough to scrap up to pay for a semester, but enough to pay for FOUR YEARS worth of schooling!!! He really does want me here and He provided for me because He loves me! I’m not even sure what all needed to happen in order for me to get that scholarship, but you can ask Pablo Perez about that ;-) haha

So yeah, that’s what happened. The Lord is faithful to the utmost. His track record CONTINUES to be impeccable and I trust Him with everything. He’s so good to us, even when we get upset about how things look. He continues to remain faithful even when we question what’s going on. He remains steady and the best thing to do is to just TRUST HIM and LOVE HIM!! He had all of this planned from the beginning! ::sigh:: He’s so wise (^_^)

So school is all set (Praise God!) and I have been praying about what He has in mind for these next few months. I’ll be starting back with school in the Fall semester and until then I really want to use my time wisely and continue to let Him lead me. And now all that I need to have taken care of would be my rent and living expenses (which I’m certain that He’ll also provide for!!) And as for open doors, He’s brought me into a group called The Cry, which is a new vocal ensemble coming out of IHOP and headed up by Jaye Thomas, and I’m SO excited about that!! But I’ll talk more about that in another post ;-) But anyway, I just wanted to share that testimony. It’s really a testimony of the faithfulness of Jesus and His willingness to provide for His beloved ones! So for those of you who have been asking for the Lord to bring financial breakthrough, keep SEEKING, keep ASKING, and keep TRUSTING THE LORD!! Because He sure is faithful to complete the work He’s started.



“Africa!…The motherland…”

"...the birthplace of generations of a proud people, a strong people, with a rich culture..." Now imagine me looking like a 60 year old woman ::waits:: ...got it?...alright. That would be me as Mother Negro, in the play “The Dream of a King” that featured February 15^th, 16^th, & 17^th. Since October I’ve been prepping for this production with a group of dedicated individuals in the Heart of David ministry, which is a group that displays the message of the Lord through various forms of artistic expression (acting, dance, spoken word, rap, drawing, painting, etc.). Heart of David is under the umbrella of the African-American Forerunner Alliance and of comprised of people from many different cultural backgrounds who all have a heart to get the forerunner message out to the masses, especially to the black community. Rehearsals for production started at the end of October and since then we met every week to rehearse, attended weekly intercession sets for the Black community and attended a weekly bible study on the weekend with Stuart Greaves. And aside from that there was also a lot of “homework” to be done, including memorizing lines & pressing in for God’s heart for the play and for our roles. When we first started we knew that this was something that the Lord was going to use to transform hearts, but it HAD to start with the transformation of our OWN hearts. And that’s just what stated to happen. Our first read-through of the script together as a cast ended in tears, consoling, and the exposing of different offenses that we all had in our hearts. The Lord went to work immediately in us and shows us the importance of the play and that it wasn’t just a “regular” black history play, but that it was the staging of a prophetic message that was going to go forth into the hearts and minds of those watching. Our purpose was to not just to memorize lines and pretend to play a part, but to actually embody the message that the Lord would put on our hearts, know it for ourselves and then speak it forth and shift the spiritual atmosphere, paving the way for the Lord to release light and revelation within the black community. 

During the beginning stages of prepping, the Lord began to expose different offenses that I’ve had hidden in my heart for so long. And they weren’t toward white people. They were actually towards black people! He helped me walk through different times in my life where walls and offenses began and His message to me was that He wants to heal them so that I could love the people that He wanted me to minister to. He’s been unpacking it all in my heart and has helped me to see people from His point of view. Some may be surprised that people can have offenses towards their own race but it’s true. And for me it’s come from different times in my younger years where I was looked at as not being “black enough” or that I was “acting white” and not a acting or talking in the way that many kids and around me did. And from there I started to want to change the way I was to fit into my environment. What it really came down to was a lack of identity in knowing who I was in Christ and trying to find a place to belong, which we all long for. And it just so happened that the groups that I was being rejected by (or made to change myself for) were the African-american groups of kids. I remember times when I had to act as though I got a D or a homework assignment in order to be accepted, when I really got an A. Being an achiever was heavily looked down upon even amongst young children and so I literally felt out of the loop when I made good grades. And the black kids that I ended up being friends with had also experienced some of the same things and so we stuck together in our own group, along with other white, Hispanic, and asian kids. And so from a tender elementary school age there were certain types of black people that I would always want to stay away from. 1) because I never felt “black” enough for them, and 2) that if I wanted to fit in I had to change myself so much to be excepted. It’s crazy to see how mindsets that were set in childhood have carried through into my teens and parts of my adult life.

Once I began to really seek the Lord again and ACTUALLY give my life to Him September of 2009, He started to bring me into my identity in Him and began to undo the lies that Satan had me believing about myself since I was a child. And recently, the Lord used this season of getting His heart for the black community to release even more freedom within me and has healed so many wounds that I didn’t even know I still had deep within my heart!! He’s been giving me His heart and His feelings towards the black community and has helped me to realize that they really are MY people and that I need to love MY people. He’s bringing me from a place of subtle & secret disgust within my own heart to a place of love for those who remind me of people who I had been hurt by. This has been a huge journey so far and I know that it’s not over. There’s much more work to be done in my heart. But what I do know is that I am so thankful for the way that the Lord is continuing to stretch me and make my desires become His desires. And I know for sure that He wants to use me in such a way to bring deliverance, freedom, healing, hope & joy to people. So why not allow Him to do that within me first?? It is for freedom that I have been set free! AMEN!!

Shameless Prayer Request

Alright so, I’m just gonna put it out there. I’ve been asking the Lord for a new laptop. For a 13inch MacBookPro to be exact. Yep I said it, I’m asking for toys!! Why? Because my Daddy is willing to give me things with the sole reason being that He loves me. Wanna know why else? Because it took me a week since writing this post to be able to connect to the internet because the built in wifi in my hp has been broken for years and it needs to be hooked up with an Ethernet cord and into the wall in order for it to work. Wanna know why else? Because if it’s not plugged up into an outlet it dies within literally 8.5 seconds. Need another reason? It’s 7 years old and it’s not kickin’ like it used to.  Also, since I’m looking at about 3.5 more years in school, I’d really like to be able to upgrade to something a little more efficient and I also like the creative possibilities and music programs that Mac offer and it would really help me to be able to record, mix, and arrange the songs and melodies that I’ve been working on, and I can only hold so many recordings on my phone to remember them! :-( So as you can clearly see, this is a dilemma (I’m partially kidding and partially not). Lol I know for a fact that the Lord happens to like me a lot AND He owns all of the money anyway and is capable of ANYTHING and so…why not ask?? ::shrug:: If He’s willing and able to have my entire 4 years of tuition taken care of, able to redeem and restore my heart back to Him after a decade of running from Him, to bring back my passion for music, able to open my mouth to sing to Him for His glory, able to supernaturally provide in the way that He does for my family, not to mention able to part seas, make donkeys talk, able to command the morning to appear and cause the dawn to rise in the east, direct the movement of the stars, shout to the clouds and make it rain, and able to make an animal so big that no one can tame JUST to show that only it’s Creator can tame it, among other things that you need to read in Job 38-41…I’m SURE that it’s not a problem for Him to give me a fully functioning laptop that works the way it’s supposed to lol

And in the same way that I know without a doubt that He’s going to provide for me while in KC, that He’ll bring the hearts of the entire younger generation of my family back to Him, that He’ll send revival to the black community, in that same way, I believe that He’ll do this too!! He just wants me to keep asking Him ;-) And so…join with me in intercession and believe with me people!! J hehe This is one of those things that I just trust Him for, amongst answers for the much weightier prayers. So, just as I pray for Him to end abortion when I see a LIFE band (but with way more fervency of course) anytime I see a MacBookPro somewhere I ask Him for one!! So much so that I’ll go into the Mac store every once in a while and claim it in Jesus’ name! And a laptop case too ;-) haha So anyway, I’d like for you to ask Him for me also. I feel like He’ll surprise me with one, one way or another. And when He does…I’ll let ya know… (^_^)